No, I have no idea what it means either. But more of that later.
Sorry I've been away for ages; it's been a very challenging couple of weeks, with the side effects of chemotherapy knocking me for 6 as they failed to lift as they normally have done - the Carousel has turned slowly this time.
But these physical and emotional effects, while being tough to cope with, aren't as interesting as the psychological ones. These I also know well, all be it intermittently since they have tended to coincide with the short(er) low time; but unlike the physical and emotional stuff, I do not pretend to understand them!
2 in 1
How many "me"s are there? Two! At times, usually during that never-never time between sleep and wakefulness (at any time of the night!) "we" have to agree before "we" can do something/anything. And, more strangely, I also feel I have two of everything I really have only one of, and these also have to "agree" before I can do anything. Most bizarre is the disorientation as "2 become 1", a little like those weird "Top of the Pops" or Dr Who special effects from the 70's / 80's!
3 of 11
This is really weird, and I have no idea what it means. But through the night, my chemo-driven dreams will crave "3 of 11", or "we need 3 of the 11" or "which 3 of the 11 is it?". I have no idea what it's 3 of, nor why 3 and 11 are "it".
If anyone has an idea, tell me!
It's been suggested they are chakras (Western tradition says there are 7 but eastern beliefs allow for many interpretations)... Hum... Or that they are "astral energies"(of which, I am told there are 10...), with the first 3 being "awake", "asleep", and "out-of-body"... OK... Or that 11 is the number of people in a team...
Or is it just a random effect of the chemo?
(Diana thinks it's a partial memory of my "attraction" all those years ago to Star Trek's 7 of 9... but that's another story!)
:-D Before I read as far as the final comment, I found myself wondering if the 3 of 11 might be something to do with The Borg, but wasn't sure if you'd ever watched any of the relevant Star Trek stuff. So that last sentence made me smile. It sounds as if the past couple of weeks have been tough but that you are dealing with it well. Fascinating about the sense of disassociation / two in one. Here's hoping the next cycle is kinder to you. It's good to see you're feeling well enough to blog again. Love, GC
ReplyDeleteI think it's a football thing. You're obviously feeling a bit under attack at the moment with only three at the back!
ReplyDelete...which is a good things as the other 7 are off trying to score goals...
11 is 3........In binary
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