Wheels within wheels

Sorry I've been a way so long...  explanation follows!

I've often posted about the "chemo cycle" I'm on - every two weeks another relaxing (honest!) day on the clinic's treatment room being infused with chemotherapy specifically chosen to attack my form of cancer.

And how within that two weekly "wheel" there's another cycle, slightly less precise, on the way I react to the injection of "drugs" - a few usually glorious days during which the side-effect combating steroids do their stuff, followed by a "down" period when my body is left to cope as best it can, before it begins to recover in time for the next outer cycle to begin.

Only that didn't happen this time.  The wheel didn't exactly come off(!), and yes, I was delighted the first couple of "down" days were shallower than the norm, but we'd not reckoned on the lasting effects of my operation (7 weeks ago) or radio-therapy (3 weeks ago) - combining with the chemo these conspired to keep me fatigued(*), tired, and in constant (low level) pain for a lot longer than we naively expected.  :-(

But then I had more CST on Friday!  :-)

Admittedly I'd woken Friday morning feeling a littler perkier anyway, but - oh boy!   Did I get value for money from my CST Therapist!  A truly wonderful hour (part tummy, part head) that left me feeling 100% better for the rest of yesterday.  Which of course then set me up for "doing stuff" (first time I'd "done stuff" since the last posting!), followed by a good night's sleep, and then an even better feeling this morning...

It is quite amazing how spirals can turn so quickly - one moment it's ever downward (sorry, that's a helix - I should say inwards and increasingly confined!), then suddenly something happens and one's heading in exactly the opposite direction (i.e. outward and more expansive towards the light!).  Never have I realised more clearly how one's mental attitude to life influences things, and equally how one's mental attitude can be so easily affected by one's physical well being.

(*) An interesting word.  IMHO not the same as tiredness.  Much closer to weariness:  "battle fatigue" is something we can easily distinguish from "post-marathon tiredness", "I'm so weary I can't be bothered".  A time when one's intellectual self can be many miles adrift from one's emotional self.  Delighted to say, however, that they are back arm-in-arm!