The least scary scary things

I suspect this list will grow...

It seems silly now, but I have been scared by some really silly things... "scary things" that have turned out to be wonderful at best, and non-existent at worst!

1. My clinic.
   A year before all this started, I'd been into my clinic to see a relative with breast cancer (who's now fully recovered!).  And, just like 30 years previously when I first crossed the threshold of a school for children with special needs, I felt "worried" about the "difference" the place seemed to represent.
   
   How stupid!  Almost immediately - no. drop the "almost" - I walked in for the first time this time it hit me - the only "difference" I could detect was that there is no difference!  Things are very simple - cancer is just another (serious) disease of the human body; usually treatable, often copeable with and sometimes curable; in much the same way as almost all other serious diseases - and far far more successfully than some.  "The big C" cut down to it's proper size, simply by walking through the front door...
   
2. Tummy injections.
   Oh boy, that was a blow.  "You need to inject yourself near your tummy every day for the foreseeable future..."
   
   Well, what an anti-climax... eventually!  Yes, the first time was tough.  Very tough - a real battle of wills between my hand and my brain.  But the brain won... and what was all the fuss about?  Because the technique "pinches an inch", the only feeling is the fingers pinching the skin - the needle is so sharp and fine, there is no way any "minor pain" it might inflict can "get through"!
   
   PS:  tip from the nurses - just before inserting the needle, relax the pinch ever so slightly, it reduces the compression and the needle glides in.  Keep it firmly pinched, and it takes more effort to get it through!
   
3. Paddy the Portacath.
   "What!  I'll have something inside me for ever? And it'll be accessed by THAT needle?"
   
   (OK, the needle's not that big!)  Paddy is now my second-closest friend - closest is Sean the stent, who's very close to my heart!  Accessing the portacath with a "huber needle" turns out to be completely painless (persuading the nurses of this fact can be difficult!); and, because it's totally enclosed inside me, the risk of infection and it's complications is as close to zero as possible.  net net:  positives - a lot, negatives - none.
   
4. Side effects.
   "Oh boy, what am I in for?"
   
   Yes, I know the side effects of chemotherapy and MABs can be horrid.  I have been so lucky with mine (although of course I did not know that at the beginning).  But there are at least two factors that, for me, eases that fear...
   
   First, side effects may not kick in straight away, whether because there's no "accumulation" yet or because of the excellent side effect drugs, or maybe both.  In any event, this was something I had no idea about - I thought it was "real time cause and effect".  (So when I felt no different after the first cycle, I really wondered what all the fuss was about!). 
   
   Rather, and this is the good bit, they seem to "evolve" - which gives me and the nurses time to react and do what can be done to nip-them-in-the-bud... so long as I discuss things with the nurses sooner not later!
   
   Second - even if they cannot be avoided, it's really important and comforting to realise they are an effect of the treatment, they are probably not the cancer.  If the treatment is having this effect on me, in spite of all the anti-side-effect defences, imagine what it's doing to the cancer!